Growing up

I want to be a little kid forever.

Yesterday, I saw my friend whom I hadn't seen since December. We ran into each other at a Christian rock concert, which I went to because I had nothing else to do on a Friday night. It was a good concert, but I was exhausted after a week of teaching my class.

I was in a good mood because yesterday at camp, we had "Fun Friday"-- where we do relay races and play games outside. We were going to do a water balloon toss and other games, but we ended up just getting into a huge water balloon fight. All the kids ran after me with buckets full of water and I got completely soaked. All my kids played-- even one boy who just lies on a bench whenever we go outside. My assistant hit him with a water balloon and he joined the war. I dumped a bucket of water over his head and he started cracking up and chasing after me. So priceless.

We combine my class (Class E - the 14-17 year olds) with the class below us (Class D - the 11-13 year olds), for Fun Fridays and for games outside. The Class D kids are crazy, and I have a blast with them because they know I'm one of the "cool" teachers who will play freeze tag, and won't care if they throw me in the pool with all my clothes on. Because I'll just grab them and throw them in next.

I told my friend that the water balloon fight was honestly the most fun I have had in SO long.

He looked at me and sort of laughed and said, "You need to get out more."

The truth is, "getting out" and hanging out with people my age is nowhere NEAR as fun as playing with my kids at work. Whether the game be freeze tag or a water balloon fight or even kickball.

The amount of laughter, the smiles on EVERYONE's faces, and hey - the amazing workout you get, is priceless.

I love growing up and getting together with my friends and just talking and spending time together...
But I want to just get together with people and play freeze tag at a park. Or something.

I asked one of my kids who he admires for our self-expression class. He said no one. I explained what it means to admire someone - that it means you look up to them and want to be like them. He still said no one. I asked if it was because he was just happy with the way he is. And he said yes.

I admire THEM.

Their love, their innocence, their joy, their never-ending supply of funny things to say, their simplicity, and their youthfulness even at age 17 are all things I want to exude in my life.

I want to grow up to be like my kids.

What's life all about, anyway.

Today at work, we had our first rehearsal for the show we're putting on for the kids' parents.

It was an adventure, to say the least.

I never could have seen myself trying to teach singing and acting to autistic kids... but it was so much fun.

When I asked everyone individually if they like to sing or not, and everyone answered yes or no, one boy said to me:

"Well what's life all about, anyway?"

Truly the best quote I've heard in a very long time.

Sometimes I wish I could think that simply about things. Maybe that's what these kids have been placed in my life for. To teach me how to find joy in the simple things again. Because I haven't done that in a long, long time.

I find myself laughing a lot more at work these days. I think I'm letting go of my fears a little bit, and just letting myself love the kids just as much as I loved my kids last summer. They have such distinct personalities and it's going to be such an adventure to really get to know them over the last four weeks of camp.

Granted, I'm scared. Scared that I won't do the best job at being their teacher, but I need to remember just to have fun. Because to them, that's what a good teacher is. Someone who they can have fun with and who they can look up to.

It's time to be happy. Just because. Because I am alive. Because I have a great job with such supportive people. Because I am around kids who never judge me for a second and are the truest example of unconditional love and joy. Because I am around kids who make me laugh non-stop.

Well, what's life all about anyway.