Who Would Have Thought?

So... I'm a high school music director.

And I am totally, completely, madly in love with my job.

...Who would have thought?

Six months ago I graduated from UC Irvine, crying every day about leaving my friends and my life behind, and absolutely terrified, having NO idea what was supposed to come next.

I started working at SOCSA out of fear that nothing else would come along, and I needed money. For the last six months I had been so fearful that I had given myself to a job that I wasn't supposed to be at, or that I was sitting around waiting for what I'm REALLY supposed to do.

I am pretty sure this is exactly where I am supposed to be.

All I can do is thank God for blessing me so immensely. I don't quite know what I did to deserve this joy, besides trust Him to the best of my ability. Trusting Him is something I'm learning how to do more and more each day as He continually proves that He knows what is best for me.

I got my degree in Drama... as in... performance. My dream was always to be on Broadway, to win a Tony award, to record cast albums... you know the deal.

I want to be a high school teacher.

How did that even happen?

My students have totally changed my life, my heart, and turned my world upside-down. Never have I felt so loved at a workplace or during a rehearsal process. The hugs I receive when I walk into the theatre are priceless every single day, and the texts I get saying "I miss you!" when I miss a rehearsal always warm my heart. My wonderful Annie cast was full of students who worked so hard and were so passionate. I was stunned every night by my orphans and their "Hard Knock Life" and "Fully Dressed". I have never seen a group of girls work so hard as a unit to make their numbers as perfect as they could be.

(My orphans, Hannigan, and Drake about to go on stage.)

One of my most amazing experiences in this process was working with Shannon, a freshman student of mine who played Annie. For those of you who don't know... "Tomorrow" is written in a RIDICULOUS key that is almost impossible to belt for girls who aren't 10 or 11 years old. For the entire rehearsal process, Shannon and I worked on how to belt it properly, or at least how to strengthen her mix, and I knew she had it in her to let it rip. But she was too afraid, and would always give up about halfway through. Finally, during our LAST week of rehearsals - the band had come in and everyone was in costume - we called Shannon to come back and practice "Tomorrow" with us. I begged her once more to just go for it - after all, when a 20-piece orchestra is playing with you, who's going to hear if you screw up anyway?

And she did it.

I legitimately was screaming from my piano. I don't think I've ever gotten more excited during a rehearsal process in my life. I was practically in tears over how proud I was, and how far my girl had come. She never mixed that song for the whole run of the show - even during the reprise, which I told her she could sing gently - she never gave even 95%. That girl gave the performance of her life every time.

What an inspiration. It made playing that song 6 times throughout the whole show every night absolutely worthwhile.

And when the rehearsal process DID get absolutely exhausting and frustrating (as it usually does)... more students came in and inspired me all over again. My band. Oh my gosh, I don't even know where to begin with these kids. The way it works is that we get crammed onto the back of the stage behind a huge wall, all 20 of us and our conductor - another faculty member, Steve. This creates an environment of becoming friends... fast.

I loved my girls next to me on the reeds and woodwinds, we would take ridiculous pictures and videos and share snacks and laughs. The horn section was another one of my favorites... the boys in the back never failed to crack me up whether it be by head-banging to the finale, or their nightly tradition of mocking the orphans (very fondly) while they were on stage all screaming like little girls.

(The picture one of my students drew of me and posted on the back of the set.)

I will never forget closing night of Annie. I don't know what came over us, but by the end of the finale we were all playing our instruments standing up and dancing... as much as we could in a space that left no room to even breathe. Anyone who didn't have their mouth on an instrument sang along with the final chorus of "Tomorrow" and we were all just giving it everything we had. It was honestly the most fun I've had... well, probably since high school.

(The wall of pictures the band colored during the show, in between numbers, and posted on the back of the set... True story.)

I wish I could tell every single one of them what a difference they have made in my life and how much they inspire me - their passion, humor, charisma, and energy never cease to amaze and inspire me in the deepest way.

Not to mention that I work with the most amazing people... Brittany, Keeran, Joe, Steve, and every adult working on this show is such a joy.

Our next show is 42nd Street and after that? West Side Story.

It's a strange feeling to know that this is my job now. My life. I already know what I will be doing at least through July, and hopefully long after that. What a gift.

Don't worry... I'm still singing. That desire will never go away. Gonna record an album one of these days, I promise.

I just have to share this joy. It's such a blessing.

So this girl with a BA in Drama who had no idea what was supposed to come next?

She's gonna keep working with teenagers, playing piano, writing, singing, and praying that God keeps showing her the way.

(Our good luck tiki definitely did his job.)