01 May 2010

A Milestone.

I just conducted a 20-piece orchestra in an entire musical while playing the piano.

I wish there were words to describe how I am feeling... I don't really think anyone could understand how huge this is for me, and what a huge fear I have overcome.

I cried on my way home, because amidst the chaos and stress of the last month, I just did something that I have never done before. Something I was always too afraid to try - because I thought I was incapable.

And I did it. And even better than that... I did it well.

I rarely say "I am proud of myself." But tonight, I am. I am so proud of myself.

And I am so proud of my students. They are my laughter, my sanity, and my joy.

And I have realized they know me better than most people in my life, and love me unconditionally and more deeply and openly than I have ever thought was possible. I am humbled every day at how loved I feel when I come home from work.

Is that not ridiculous? I come home from working feeling loved.

I am so, so blessed.