Never Alone, in retrospect

It's actually hard to begin to write about how Never Alone went and what kind of impact it had on my heart.

I wrote before about how I knew God opened this door for me, so I was ready to walk through it and undertake this giant project. Well, since I knew it was in God's hands I prayed every day that it would stay there. I never wanted to take too much control over the project or make it "mine". I wanted it to be fully His, because quite frankly, I knew I would be incapable of such a huge project without His help and His grace to make it happen.

Just to give you perspective on what the writing process was like...

We had West Side Story rehearsal every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, with Never Alone rehearsals on Monday, Wednesday, and any evening after West Side that we could fit in. I also was giving voice lessons every evening after our rehearsals. My mornings were spent practicing piano (sometimes for 3 hours at a time) and sitting and staring at my computer screen, trying to type out an entire show in a month and a half. It was beautiful divine convenience that I had given up TV for Lent... so I could just sit with my computer without any distractions.

Every day at rehearsal with the girls, I would throw new scenes at them and change them as they read them aloud. Hearing my words spoken by other people shed a whole new light on what I was trying to say, and it took a lot of editing and humility (rather, getting over being embarrassed when something sounded incredibly cheesy or trite) to get the lines just right. These girls were learning edited scenes 2 days before opening. Literally. They were so patient and incredible to work with.

So, after all the writing and editing and rehearsing and staring at the computer screen, the show finally opened on April 28. I prayed a rosary every day before tech rehearsal that week and before opening that night. I prayed that my show would touch someone's heart. I never properly expressed that this show was my story - it was the story of a mother being diagnosed with breast cancer and how this group of women came together and coped with it all. The main plot line is about the mother's relationship with her youngest daughter, Jenny. Jenny applies to colleges behind her mother's back, wanting to get away from home. When she finds out her mother has cancer, she is faced with the decision of whether or not to leave when it's what she's always wanted. She decides to stay, until her mother realizes she needs to allow her daughter to grow up and live her life. The show ends with Jenny's decision to leave, but the women join together and sing "I Will Never Leave You," a song that talks about how we as women will always be together, even if that does not mean being physically in the same place.



A few weeks before the show opened, a student of mine (who we will call John) approached me and asked for prayers as his mother had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. He had no idea that my show was about breast cancer. I was already so humbled by the reminder that I was writing something that had the potential to touch people because breast cancer has affected so many people's lives. So I shared with him what my show was about and that I truly hoped he would come see it if he could. He not only came to see it, he brought his mom along with him. After the show, he came to me with tears in his eyes, thanking me for writing his story. I was blown away. His mom also thanked me, saying she felt like someone had taken her heart and put it up on stage. That day, John had committed to the college of his choice, knowing he would have to leave his mom while she was going through chemotherapy. Just like Jenny in my show. Talking to both of them was the answer to every single one of my prayers - I felt like in that moment, I knew exactly why God wanted me to write that show. Even if it was ONLY for the two of them, that was absolutely enough.

For weeks, I heard more and more stories about people feeling they had watched their own story on stage. I still can't believe it.. It is incredibly humbling when God uses us for His work - something that is SO much bigger than us. I am still so humbled that he chose to use me. There truly are no words to express the entire experience. The most important thing I gained from it was this constant sense of GRATITUDE. I woke up every morning and went to bed every single night feeling grateful that I was chosen to work on such a special project. I was grateful for a job that allowed me the opportunity to do an original show. I was grateful, most of all, that I had so many people helping me with the project. It astounded me how many people were willing to help me when I asked. I had a cast of four, but a crew of about 30 people who made my show happen. There are countless stories that would take forever to tell of people dropping everything for the week of my show to help me and make my show go smoothly.

All in all, I am a very blessed woman to have had this opportunity. God never ceases to humble me. I will continue to do all I can do to remain His faithful servant and to try and follow where He leads.